Happy 21st Birthday!

The girl knew how to have fun!

Happy 21st birthday Sydney Michele with only one “L”. I always thought we’d have your first “legal” glass of wine together or whatever your drink preference may have been…maybe you wouldn’t prefer any but you are a Galleger after all 😂

I continue to see signs of you everywhere but there is one sign you don’t have to send anymore. The week you were born, the washing machine broke. The week you were in the hospital, the washing machine broke. And now the week of your 21st birthday, the washing machine broke. Seriously? Maybe the message to me is new beginnings. It was a wonderful new beginning when you were born, a heartbreaking new beginning when you died and maybe this is a time for rebirth and additional healing for me. Yeah, that’s what I’m going with.

I went into your bathroom to smell your Bath & Body Works forever Red fragrance mist, savoring those last few ounces that you had left in the bottle. It reminds me so much of you, making me happy and sad all at the same time. I’m so grateful for that memory.

I never fully understood (nor did I want to) how much pain and suffering could draw one closer to God. I now know more than ever how it can Syd. I had a choice…I could try to do this new normal on my own or I could look to Him for my strength, comfort and HOPE. You made it easy for me to choose Hope in Him and the promise He has given me. That promise is that I will see you again. Without Him and His love for me, I wouldn’t be doing as well as I am today. I’m absolutely not saying it’s been easy but I’ve learned that I can be happy, while still missing you terribly. I’m learning to fill in the spaces, although there will always be an emptiness. I’m learning to find joy, even though there will always be sorrow. I’m continuing to try to be Strong and Courageous.

My tears may be far and few between now, but as I finish my letter to you, I can’t stop them from coming. I so wish you were here. As we light 21 candles in remembrance of you on your birthday, my wish is that we continue to see your light shine through all who love you.

I’ll love you till the end of time and then beyond,
Mom
#BeMoreSyd #StrongAndCourageous
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sydneygalleger/journal